Occasionally I spend too much time inside my own head. The following is the result of that time spent…
I don’t like to think of myself as someone who bases success on monetary value, but I am. I was brought up in a culture that places huge emphasis on monetary gain, and the desire for cash is instilled in me. To make my family believe I am successful, which means a lot to me, I need to make more money. To have the things I lust after, like fancy supplies and equipment, I need to make more money. To travel like I want to, I need to make more money. But everything I am working towards lately, offers hardly any monetary reward. It offers many other things that are far more important at this stage in my life, but at the end of the day, I feel like I have nothing to show for it all. This has often been frustrating. Yet, this is the path I have chosen and I have chosen it for a reason. The people I have met, and things I have learned, and the growth I have experienced have made it all worth while.
Which brings me a dream of mine, and the reason the image above appeals to me so much. When things get rough, like they have been in the past few weeks, I often think I should move out of the city, set up shop in an abandoned building on some beautiful property in the middle of nowhere with my dog and my boyfriend. We can spend all of our time working on the creative projects we want to work on. We will invite our friends and family to come spend time with us and work on projects they’ve always wanted to pursue. All these projects will pile up in our house, and when we die they will be discovered (okay maybe we can post them to a website or something). The point is, we will make just to make, and work free from the distraction and pressure of city life. We will grow our own food, and build our own furniture. I will cut myself off from the outside world, and kill the competitor in myself. I will live in the moment, and I will be happier, more free, less anxious, less worried. I really hope to do this someday… I just need to make some money first.
Images via oldchum.